Where am I on the Healing Map — a self-assessment by Mending Miracles
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Hello, I'm Pam Vredevelt
PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR
SPEAKER
BESTSELLING AUTHOR
Find Your Healing Phase
Discover which of the four healing phases you're in and receive a free personalized guide written for exactly where you are.
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Heartbreak Heals
Better When You
Know Where to Start.
Grief has a path. I’ve walked it.
And I’d like to show you how to walk it with
God into wholeness and flourishing.
I know what it is like to lose a baby. To lose a son.
To cry out to God and hear silence.
I also know, from forty years as a counselor, and from my own walk through devastating loss, that there is a way through. Not around grief. Through it.
Take the free Healing Path Quiz and discover exactly where you are and what your next step looks like.
As Seen On & Featured In
FOR THE WOMAN WHO IS STILL CARRYING WHAT NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE
Does This Sound Like You?
- I look fine on the outside. Inside, something feels completely shattered.
- I've been trying to push through. To pray my way past it. To wait for it to fade.
- People keep telling me to be strong — but I don't know how to grieve and be strong at the same time.
- I wonder if there's something wrong with me for still feeling this way.
- My faith is shaken. I believe in God — but I'm not sure where He is in this.
- I want to heal. I just don't know where to start.
If yes, you are in the right place.
Most of what our culture teaches about grief is wrong. We're told to move on. To be strong. To trust the plan. But grief is not a malfunction. It's what happens when we love someone deeply and lose them. And it needs a framework — not willpower.
That framework exists. Wherever you are in your journey, there is a path forward.
Free · 3 Minutes · Personalized Guide
Where Does Your Grief Live?
Each path has its own healing journey. Choose the one that fits where you are today.
I'm grieving a loss
- Loss of a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend
- Loss of a marriage, a career, a version of yourself
- Grief that arrived years ago and never fully left
- Compounded losses that have built up over time
- Feeling flat, numb, or quietly broken inside
I've lost a baby
- Miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, infant loss
- The grief that doesn't always have a place to land
- People don't know what to say — so they say nothing
- Some days feel okay. Then grief catches you unexpectedly
- My baby matters — and I need support that honors that
Not sure where to begin?
The Healing Path Quiz takes 3 minutes and tells you exactly where you are on your healing journey.
Free · 3 Minutes · Personalized Guide
MEET PAM VREDEVELT
Hello, I'm Pam Vredevelt.
For over forty years, I've walked with women through the hardest seasons of their lives — in my counseling office, in my books, and through my own experience of devastating loss.
Years ago, I was at a routine five-month checkup. The doctor searched for our baby's heartbeat with the Doppler.
Minutes passed. Silence.
I finally broke it. "Can I see the screen? Do you see a heartbeat?"
Then the ripping truth came. Our baby was gone.
And then — years later — our sixteen-year-old son Nathan was hit by a car on a freeway. Nathan was born with Down syndrome. He had a thing for bold adventure and an enormous, uncomplicated love for life.
When I arrived at the hospital that night, the trauma team told me: without immediate surgery, Nathan would die. With surgery, they didn't know if he would live.
I stood in that hallway signing papers. Numb.
Nathan. I'm here now. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I love you, buddy.
Those were the last words I spoke to my son. Nathan was relocated to heaven three days later.
CREDENTIALS
- 35+ years as a Professional Counselor
- 17 published books
- 500,000+ copies sold in 8 languages
- Bestselling Author
- Speaker
- Empty Arms & The Empty Arms Journal
- Mending Miracles: Partnering with God to heal a grieving heart available in English & Portuguese, & Spanish
- Grief, trauma, neuroscience-informed healing
- Faith-integrated practice
For two years, my husband John and I cried out to God. We asked the hard questions. We searched Scripture. I dove deep into the neuroscience of grief.
We didn't want to just survive. We wanted to actually heal. Not just move on through.
Out of that desperate, honest search, grounded in Scripture and backed by science, I discovered a process. A cycle. A way of partnering with God through grief that actually works. And I wrote it all down in this book.
"Pain that isn't transformed is transmitted."
START WHEREVER YOU ARE
Three Ways to Begin
Every path starts with wherever you are today.
01
Take the Free Healing Path Quiz
3 minutes. 7 questions. Discover your current healing phase — Shock & Survival, Disorientation & Questioning, Heightened Awareness, or Integration — and receive a free personalized guide written for exactly where you are.
02
Get Mending Miracles Free
A 300-page step-by-step healing guide — grounded in neuroscience, rooted in Scripture, written by a woman who has been where you are. Free to you; just cover $14.97 printing & shipping. Includes digital PDF.
03
Go Deeper with Pam
A six-month guided intensive for women who are ready to stop managing their grief, and finally move through it.
Small cohort. Live sessions. Pam reads every application personally.
THE FRAMEWORK
The Love Talks Cycle
Most approaches to grief either push through and move on, which doesn't work, or stay focused on the pain, which also doesn't work. The Love Talks cycle works with your brain's natural healing design, in honest partnership with God.
1. REGULATE
Before anything else, your nervous system needs to feel safe. You can’t process grief from a place of overwhelm. We start by calming the body using simple, science-backed breathing practices, so healing becomes possible.
2. RECOGNIZE
You name what you’re actually feeling with compassion, not judgment. Not “I shouldn’t feel this.” Just: here is what is true for me right now. If you can name it, you can begin to heal it.
3. RELEASE
Grief is energy in motion. When we hold it inside, it does damage. This step teaches you how to gently let it move through you in God’s presence, safely, without drowning in it.
4. RECEIVE
You open your heart to what God wants to give you in return: His comfort, His healing, and the good gifts that are hidden even within grief. This is where transformation can accelerate.
"Every time you complete this cycle, something shifts. Something mends. You become a little more whole and free."
Free · 3 Minutes · Personalized Guide
FREE BOOK OFFER
Mending Miracles
Partnering With God to Heal a Grieving Heart
I want to put this book in your hands with as little friction as possible. I know that the women who need this book most are often in seasons where every dollar is accounted for. I don't want money to be the reason a grieving woman doesn't get the help she needs.
So I'm covering the cost of the book itself. I just ask that you cover the $14.97 printing and shipping so we can get it to your door — along with the digital PDF version so you can start reading today.
No subscription. No hidden charges. No fine print. Just the book — with my genuine hope and prayer that it meets you exactly where you are.
WHAT HEALING LOOKS LIKE
Real Women. Real Losses. Real Steps Forward.
Rachel's Story
Rachel's son Asher was born and died on July 4th, 2018, a placental abruption she never saw coming. She had already lost a baby to miscarriage three years earlier.
She knew grief. She thought she knew how to survive it.
She and her husband were both high-functioning people. On the outside they were holding together. Inside, the loss was quietly pulling them apart.
Rachel found Pam's program. She and her husband started watching the sessions together, getting a babysitter, carving out the time, doing what they could. Week by week.
One year after losing Asher, Rachel and her husband began local marriage counseling together.
She said Pam's program was the springboard — the thing that cracked them open enough to take the next step.
"I know that Pam understands and that she’s been there. The wisdom Pam has is literally off the charts."
- RACHEL
FREE + $14.97 shipping. Digital PDF included. Ships within 7 days.
YOUR NEXT STEP IS RIGHT HERE.
Two Ways to Begin.
You don't have to have it figured out. You just need a next step. Here are two.
Free + $14.97 shipping · PDF included
Free · 3 minutes · personalized guide
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Questions? Contact us at Pam@mendingmiracles.com